On the night you were born,
the moon shone with such wonder
that the stars peeked in
to see you
and the night wind whispered,
‘Life will never be the same.’
Because there had never been
anyone like you…
ever in the world.”
If your a mom, you know how we have those “motherly instincts” maybe everyone has them but for some reason… I had a feeling our little love would join us on march 4th.
Waking up extremely disappointed at 12am on march 4th – to the fact that my water had not broke and I just had to use the washroom…. again. On the verge of tears, because at 40 weeks pregnant when the minutes feel like centuries and it just hurts to even get out of bed.. I strolled my way down to the bathroom when I just had a strange feeling that “this may be it” even though I still had no contractions and my water had not broken. I went to the bathroom and went to lay back in bed trying to get comfortable when I felt a contraction… I was convinced yet again it was these mild contractions that kept coming and going. When 3 minutes later… Another one, I whipped out my phone and started to record my contractions… They kept coming 3 minutes apart lasting about 40 seconds. My hubby was upstairs on his computer so I ran upstairs to say, ” I think I’m in labor but I don’t want to jinx it so don’t get excited!!!”
At this point my contractions kept getting more and more painful and he was convinced it was labor, but I was not yet. I know what this feels like and it wasn’t quite there for me yet. My mom had just got here from the UK so I went and woke her up… Levi and my mom came and sat with me in the living room for about 20 minutes when they were starting to get mad at the fact that I had not yet called my midwife.. I remember my hubby saying “You know how mad I’m going to be at you if I have to deliver this baby myself – you need to call” … He was right, I labor fast and if this is the real thing, we definitely don’t have time to wait so, I called my midwife at 1am – and she said she was on her way here!
I don’t know if it was my body just realizing I could now relax, that my midwife was on her way, but the second my midwife walked in the door at around 1.30am and checked my cervix – I was in full blown active labor. At this point, my water had not broke but I was 5-6cms dilated. This was it. I could finally relax and feel at peace that I was ready to bring this beautiful human into the world! We had decided that a home birth was the best decision for us during this moment, the girls were sleeping in their bedroom… My mom was here to be in the room when he was delivered and my father in law was on his way in case the girls woke up so he could help.
This was my first 100% natural drug free L&D – And I’m not going to sugar coat it… It was painful. But contractions are like waves, surges.. you have time to get yourself together again for this next wave of pain. I decided it was time around 1.45am, to get in the bath tub.. I was in so much pain and I really needed a way to calm myself and relax enough to dilate more. The bath was by far the best decision and was the most peaceful experience I could never put into words. My hubby put my “birthing playlist” on my phone – I had my diffuser in the bathroom, the lights off, door closed just me and my husband laboring together… and it was just pure bliss. I sang to my favourite songs through the breaks and almost drowning myself during contractions… Levi sat on the floor next to the bath tub holding me up the entire time, rubbing my arm and being the best support I could have ever asked for.
Around 2am, I looked at Levi and said “Yup, I need drugs.. I cant do this anymore” He was like well… do you want me to go and ask your midwife? I remember them kind of laughing from out in the living room with a response “Ya, that’s at the hospital and you are not going to make it to the hospital in time”…. I think I needed to have this doubt in myself to hear that it was at the hospital so it could give me motivation to push through and deliver my baby at home because it has been something I had wanted for SO long. I felt more motivated then ever at that point, and at this time we decided to get out of the bath time to re-check my cervix and break my water.
My midwife and my ast. Midwife looked at me and said ” Trust me Beth, you can do this… you are so close I promise you!” They checked my cervix and I was at 8cms “Hallelujah” – They decided to break my water… Which was the most pain I have ever felt… but then whoosh, I was ready to push just like that.
I rolled onto my side, held my husband close… I think I was actually biting his hand and pulling his neck off… And started to push. Less then 10 minutes of pushing, and after only 1 hour of active labor our sweet boy, Krew James was born into this world weighing 8lbs 6oz. This was the most empowering moment of my entire life, to have my son born in the comfort of my own home, with my mom and husband by my side… I looked at Levi and said ” We did it, I did it, I did it!!!!!”
Those moments after giving birth is an unexplained high. Honestly, my head was in the clouds, my heart was so full… I was so complete. I had a son. A perfectly healthy human that we created in my arms. We did delayed cord clamping for about 20-30 minutes. Levi had decided to let my mom cut his cord, as it was the only birth she was able to attend and it was an extremely special moment for her also. Levi held Krew, and my mom cut his cord. Shortly after, my father in law joined us in the room and we all celebrated with champagne. A toast to our bundle of joy, Krew James.
I couldn’t stress enough to any of you how peaceful, and incredibly amazing a home birth was. The comfort of being in your own home, your own bed, Being able to go into your own bath, wear your own pajamas, no IV attached to you…. is the most amazing feeling. I have no words. If you ever have the chance, you will not ever regret an experience like that.
They did a full body exam of Krew while i was in the shower, I came back to a completely spotless bedroom, new fresh linens and new pajamas to wear. We weighed our boy and gave him his first breastfeed… and just celebrated his life. Our midwife stayed with us for about 2 hours, went home and came back a few hours later to check on us.
A few hours later, we woke the girls up to surprise them with their baby brother.. I think it took them a while to figure out that he actually was a real baby and he did come from my stomach. They snuggled him and loved him, and were honestly in shock. It was one of the best moments of my life and something I will never ever forget.
I wish I could express the image and the moments that replay in my mind for you all so you could truly witness just how incredible and special this was for us. But I hope by reading this, you get an idea…. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my birth story, I will be posting another blog in a few days talking about our first few days at home and why we decided to delay bathing until Krew was 1 week old.